is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
