You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
