i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think people are normalizing furries
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
