On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
