I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
