Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
