There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Help. Why am I so naked?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
