I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't want my vagina anymore.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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