Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
