Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
