I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need moral support for this bender
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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