I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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