Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We are two peas in an std pod
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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