Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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