Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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