I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Two words: blizzard sex
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
