Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
