how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
