Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she peed on how many people?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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