halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
