The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you still have your period?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
