I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
