This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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