Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How external is "for external use only"?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
NoShamevember. You game?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
