I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
