you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
