so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
