Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just pee around me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
