Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
