You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
