I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
