Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
