Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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