i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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