hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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