I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
