I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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