i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just had sex on a roof
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
