Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
