I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
