He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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