I am puke
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
