you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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