i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
