at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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