Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
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