I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
