your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
