last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
