Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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