when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
